The Psycho: 2014

Friday, May 23, 2014

5-12-14

I’ve been leaving people more frequently now. I get attached, and after a short time, even though how painful it is for me, I would have to leave. And that’s why I don’t want to get attached. You get happy, you feel special, and when you’re another step closer to cloud nine, something strong pulls you away from them. Distance. And it scares you bigtime, how those people may either miss you as much as you miss them, or forget you instead, the memories and moments you’ve had. What’s worse is that you’re the one who’s going to be put to blame. It won’t be any of their fault. Because you’re the one who left, you’re the one who walked away. Even though they’re the ones who chose to forgetyou, everything will still be thrown back at you. Because again, you were the one who left them.

Friday, May 2, 2014

4/28/14

Date with two of my bestest

Gathered all my energy up just to go down from bukidnon to cagayan, a one hour trip, a day after my week-long davao stay in order for me to spend time with two of my bestest. Am I not the sweetest. And to tell you, it is a very tough job to divide my time for these people. It involves crucial decision making and would reach the point that you would never want to let another word come out of your mouth. If only I could separate my body into two, I could’ve. But still, even though I was more than stressed that day, everything was all worth it. I missed them and it was nice catching up on what has happened on our lives recently. Looking forward to more days like these with them.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

To my one and only bok.

It feels great to have someone to lean on. When you feel down, he’s always there to cheer you up. When you’re brokenhearted, he gives you a bucketful of useful advices. He tells you jokes when you’re lonely, makes you smile when you’re bored and makes you happy for no reason. He never gets tired of listening to your never ending chikkas and how you feel everytime you see your crush, crushessss. Haha. He still sticks with you even though you are a shtty bitch. He’s willing to share his time with you despite of his hectic schedule. His more than willing to rush to the mall when you text him you’re alone. And even though you treated him badly for gazillion times, he’s still there. And you’re thankful for that. I’m thankful for that. He’s more than the best. He’s the bestest of the best. My bestfriend, my enemy, number one hater of every guy I have a crush on, my ka chikka, my guy, my boy bestie.

I am so sorry if I was a btch, wait, I’m always a bitch. Sorry for always being a bitch to you. Sorry for being insensitive, sorry for everything. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for being there when I need you. Thank you. Words aren’t enough for me to express how grateful I am for having you, for you being part of my life. Okay, enough with the thank you’s. Bok, fourth year na tayo. Char. Goodluck to us. Always remember na I’m proud sa lahat ng na achieve mo. I’m proud to have you. I’m proud kasi may kilala akong Arnold Faustine Sadsad. And I know you’ll make me more proud pa. We’ll be doctors together diba? Walang iwanan. See you a few months from now! I’m not good with letters. Sorry. Hihi. Pero this will do na diba? Alam ko love mo ako. So. Okay na to. Hahaha. Goodluck sa remaining five months of highschool life. Looking forward to seeing you again soon. Love you bok! Stay awesome. Imy.

47 questions

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?

-UNDECIDED. jkjk. Boyfriend.

2.When did your last hug take place?

-A week ago

3.Are you a jealous person?

-HAHAHAHAHAHA yea

4.Are you tired right now?

-Who gets tired now its summer

5.Do you chew on your straws?

-I don't

6.Have you ever been called a tease?

-Nah

7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

-No. I'm in a relationship with sleep and I'm clingy

8.Do you cry easily?

-I cry over the simplest of simplest things

9.What should you be doing right now?

-Idk. Its summertime btch

10.Are you a heavy sleeper?

-No, my sister is.

11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

-I did. I can.

12.Are you mad at someone right now?

-No, I can't stay mad.

13.Do you believe in love?

-YES I DO

14.What makes you laugh no matter what?

-4T FAMILY CONVERSATIONS

15.Who was the last person you talked to?

-My sister

16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

-FCK BUTTERFLIES, I FEEL A FCKIN ZOO

17.Will you get married?

-Hopefully. I don't want to get old alone.

18.When was the last time you smiled?

-Few minutes ago

19.Does anyone like you?

- I hope so.

20.Do you secretly like someone?

-No. I like someone tho, but not secretly lol

21.Who was the first person you talked to today?

-My mom

22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

-Mesh and my sister

23.What are you NOT looking forward to?

-NOT GRADUATING, HAVING AN UNSUCCESFUL LIFE

24.What ARE you looking forward to?

-GRADUATING, BEING A DOCTOR, HAVING A HAPPY FAMILY

25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?

-Yes, he told me he loved me, loves me, and I hope he meant it.

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

-Srsly? IDGAF HAHA

27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

-idk I don't have future plans I don't have a future

28.Are you a forgiving person?

-Yes. I don't hold grudges.

29.How many TRUE friends do you have?

-You don't count true friends

30.Do you fall for people easily?

-No

31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

-Yema

33.Who was the last person you drove with?

-Dad

34.How late did you stay up last night and why?

-2 AM. I was having a conversation with someone

35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?

-Yes I would. Living in bukid ain't easy btch

36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?

-My sister

37.Can you live a day without TV?

-Yes I can

38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

-Announcement of honors

39.Three names you go by...

-Mitch Chiching Michang

40.Are you currently in a relationship?

-Yes I am

41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

-The Notebook

42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

-Soul-mate? I don't believe that sht

43.What’s your current problem?

-I am broke

44.Have you ever had your heart broken?

-yes. A lot of times

45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?

-srsly. It might work. It would work. Dapat may trust and communication.

46.How many kids do you want to have?

-three

47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

-hehe yes

15th of April 2014

Dear Mr You Know Who You Are;

Writing this because I don’t want to leave you hanging. Ayoko na bigla bigla kang iiwan sa ere. Saklap niyan sa feeling eh. That feeling na parang you were thrown away without knowing the reason. Trust me, been there. So, here goes.

Enough na. Let’s stop expecting na we will be the way we were before again. Maybe, everyone was right. Na kung magkakabalikan tayo, things would never be the same again. It would probably reach the point wherein we would put each other to blame, for letting this and that happen. And for sure, there would be that gap. Gap that would never be filled again.

Maybe, letting each other go would be the best thing to do. Matagal tagal na rin tayong di nag uusap or what. Perhaps you’ve adjusted na on your life without me. I’m sorry if I was a pain in the ass. Sorry for the times I’ve hurt you. And thank you so much for making me happy before. Always remember that, I loved you, you would always have a place in my heart. And that this isn’t a for the char goodbye speech. Because I’m hoping that someday soon, you’d accept me as your friend. And forgive me for all the wrong things na naggawa ko. I know this line is quite overused na but it’s the truth naman din eh. You deserve someone better. And I want the best and only the best for you. That one person that would make you truly happy. Goodluck sa life. See you soon? Maybe? I won’t forget you J

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Choices, Decisions and Regrets.

Your life, your future depends on the choices you make. Most of the time, we make choices. First thing in the morning, we decide whether we would dismiss the alarm and get up, or press the snooze button repeatedly. Everyday, we encounter events that requires our opinions, oir decisions. And I admit, most of the time, I decide without weighing things out. In tagalog, "Padalos-dalos." And that's because we always have that thinking that little mistakes won't hurt nobody. We settle on doing this and doing that without even looking at the possible consequences. Sometimes, these little actions, wrong actions, would have big impacts on our lives. Consequences and outcomes that would change our lives and our way of looking at it.

I've regretted a lot of things. Wrong choices that made me overthink and led me to depression and to having a lot of sleepless nights. Decisions I've cried over for days and days. But then again, what's done is done. Never let your regret eat you. We can't change what had happened in the past. We shouldn't cry over spilled milk. But we can clean it up instead. Yes, we can't do anything about our wrongdoings in the past but we can make a big change for our future. Crying over the past won't be of any help. Even if you cry a river, o kahit Pacific Ocean pa yan, it would not change a thing. It would not change what already happened. You should instead, wipe off your tears, get up and start making right decisions. Regret is common. Regret is normal. But giving up? No. Don't let the past make a monster out of you, don't let the past be your monster. Prove them wrong. Show them you're better. Show them that you are the best.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

1-21-14

Meet my 4T family. Without these people, I'm not sure if I would be able to survive my fourth year in highschool. I was only a salin-pusa. Epal. Nakisali. Joiner. Yes. I came from the general section. I was part of the gensec during the first quarter. At di ko yan ikinakahiya. When my teacher told me that I will be transferred to the honor section, I didn't know how and what to feel. I was happy and I was damn nervous. What if they won't like me? What if ma left out ako? What if ako yung bobo dun? But no, dapat pala di ako kinabahan nun. It turned out, these people made my year memorable. They made me feel loved. They welcomed me. They made me feel as if I was part of their family, wait, they made me a part, a member of their family, 4T family. Thank you 4T! Lablab.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Late Year-Ender Post

This year deserves a year-ender post. 2013. I never thought I’d actually survive this year. I never imagined I would make it through 2013. It was a year full of drama, new experiences, new faces, new places, numerous first times, goodbyes and well, a lot of hello’s. Quite a lot. Others describe their year as a year with a rollercoaster of emotions. But for me? No. My year wasn’t just a rollercoaster of emotions. It was more like I used a free ride-all-you-can-ticket at Star City. Yes, my year was that complicated. That kind of complicated wherein you don’t know what and how to feel anymore, how to react on certain situations. Moments when you feel like crying and throwing up at the same time. I don’t really think I would still be able to count all the ups and downs I’ve been through this year. And I’m pretty sure if I recall all of them and write each down, my fingers might go all numb and swollen. 2013 was way different from my 2012. 2012 was just a chill year. A year where you just let things happen. 2013 was more of the “make things happen” year. And it may not be my bestest of the best year, but it was a really a year worth remembering.

· Prom

· Play

· Despedida

· Bye DVO

· Hello CDO

· I am an hour away from the city

· 16^th birthday

· New school

· New faces

· New classmates

· Experienced how it feels like to be in the General Section for two months. *insert thumbs up emoji*

· Transferred in the honor section during the second quarter

· Braces

· Survived having no internet for 5 months (social life torture)

· I now, speak bisaya and I am proud

I really can’t recall a lot of things that happened to me this year, but I think that this year changed my life. What I am now, is way different from what I am a year ago. This year was indeed a year full of tears. Sadness, anger, pain, sorrow. And yes, I’m ending this year, still, with tears in my eyes. Tears of joy and pure happiness. I survived the year I never thought I’d actually live through. Thank you Papa God. Thank you for this wonderful year. Hoping for an awesome 2014.